RAotW #82
Hannah, 11, sent me a few stories for RAoTW, and I must say, I had a tough time choosing an excerpt from one of them because they were all well-done. Hannah develops her characters really well, as you’ll see in the excerpt below, from her story, Good vs Bad.
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Melissa is a goddess of speed, wisdom and war. She is said to be the fastest and smartest person alive today, and she prevents wars from happening on Earth (she lives in the sky).
Melissa’s hair is a beautiful chestnut colour that touches the floor, and when she walks she has to avoid tripping on it. Her eyes are blue, like the sea, so that you can almost see the ocean in her eyes. She never frowns at anything or anyone. She wears the most beautiful one-of-a-kind red ball gown. The dress is made out of the finest silk in all of the universe, and covered in sequins that are made out of pure gold. It costs around 50 porps (the equivalent to 5 million dollars). On special occasions, Melissa wears the dress with earrings that are made of real starfish. She braids her hair and wears red high heels.
Melissa lives in the part of the sky called Rune. If you are a god or goddess, Rune is the place to be. There are always buffets, and you’re not judged by your image but by your niceness, and you never die. Melissa and her family live in a neighbourhood called Canine. They live in a Victorian house that’s 100 years old (they used magic to bring the house up in the sky). The house is white and also has white shingles on the roof. If you pull the 95th shingle on the far right, you would land in the attic. Inside there are many antiques, such as a grandfather clock and a photo of the oldest god. There are also many booby traps to keep intruders away.
Melissa was the kindest goddess in the sky. Everywhere she went, she was known as the saviour. She used her powers for good, not bad and helped the humans. She used her speed to make people exercise, her wisdom to help Albert Einstein with his equations (discreetly of course), and she brainwashed people into stopping war. But this all changed when she married Max, the god of evil.
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This is where we leave you on edge, wondering what happens next. Hannah, you’ve set up your story very well and demonstrated you have a talent for writing. Thanks for sharing it with us!
-Kim, owlblog@owlkids.com
